Of grit, guts and gumption...

Yes, finally, she thought. This vacation was her much-needed break from her hectic life. Even then she was considering working from home while she looked around in her compartment. She wouldn’t call it empty, yes, there were people around her. She found these journeys boring, always alone, looking out of the train but seeing nothing but thick mists of darkness and waiting for the last stop. Tonight was no different.

She sat there flipping through the pages of Femina.  One by one, the passengers got out and soon she was left all alone. She never gave it a second thought, after all this generally happened. An hour from her place, a couple of boys, not even adults, boarded the train. Finding the girl alone, they thought of having some fun. Passing lewd remarks and making obscene gestures, they tried to frighten her. She ignored them until they started taunting her by asking her to move to another compartment. She refused to budge. The verbal attacks became more personal by the minute. She held her seat and as calmly as she could, she took her mobile phone and dialled the Railway helpline number. Soon, she was talking to an operator and was starting to explain the incident. Realizing where this was heading, the boys silently retreated and moved to the next compartment. She hung up the cleverly-played never-dialled number. This is my right, she thought

*Grit?*

An awesome night, she thought. She was riding through the city with the wind blowing through her hair, the rain lashing down on her face and the chillness creeping up her spine. It had been four months since she last did something like this and hence was enjoying this delightful night ride. She had had her dinner at home and kissed her parents good night. A note, mentioning that she was just taking a breath of fresh air and that she would be back before midnight, was all that she had left at home in case someone did search for her. It is not as if her parents wouldn’t allow her this indulgence as long as she promised herself to be safe.

Her watch showed 11.40 p.m.  , now, and as if by instinct she felt a sudden fear which she soon overcame as being silly. She drove around all those familiar places from her childhood, renewing every single memory that lay deep down within her.  Nothing under the sun (moon, in this case) could stop her from living the moment. After all, it is not every other day in any place that it is possible for a 21 year old girl to venture out alone at night. This is my right, she thought.

*Guts?*

She hurried her way home through the deserted streets along with her friend. It was past midnight and both of them would have rather preferred to have been in the comforts of their homes. Today was one of those days- work started at 7 in the morning, attending meetings and calls for more than 15 hours, one leading to the other. Since both of them were neighbours they always took the same bus home.

The bus was empty save for the conductor and the driver. At least I have company, she thought. They spent their time discussing anything and everything including office gossip. There wasn’t anything much to do at this point of time. At the next stop, a bunch of teenage guys entered the bus looking totally drunk and verbally abusing each other. They took a good look at her and settled in the seats all around her. Perspiration beads started forming on her forehead.  She squirmed about in her seat worrying about where this bus journey would take her.  And to top all of that, the conductor was also sneering at them. She took out her cell and sent the bus registration number to a colleague’s number. She did not know what prompted her to do that, but she did it. The journey seemed shorter, probably because of her nervousness. They got down and started walking in silence. She suddenly took a deviation and walked on. He called behind her, but she was very determined. He ran behind her and kept asking her about where she was headed. She turned and said “Police Station”. The look on her face said it all. This is my right, she thought

*Gumption?*

Yes, she knows she could have been the unfortunate one. And yet, by some miracle it had not been so. It could be today or tomorrow. But till then she continues to live in the cocoon called her life with a silent prayer on her lips thanking God for the miracle. 

If only...

XYZ Corp:

"Chief Business Analyst”, the name-board said. Humming a tune to herself and fiddling through the magazines on the table, she waited there impatiently, often stealing a nervous glance to the clock on the wall. She was dressed impeccably with not even a strand out-of-place. In a chic black formal shirt, white corduroy trousers and hair tied up in a bun, this tall lean figure was nowhere close to being tired after a day of hectic work.

An hour back, she had been busy observing her friends suppress giggles and squeals of joy as they moved about their work, the surprise birthday party that they were going to throw for her that night was on everyone’s mind, including hers. As she sat there thinking of what the year might offer for her, the phone on her desk rang. To her surprise, it was the secretary of her big boss telling her that he wanted to have a word with her in an hour or so. Well, there goes my year, she thought.

The clock struck 8.30 and she was ushered into his office. This was her first time in his office and all that she could think of was the pride on the faces of her parents if they saw her in such an office. After all, that is exactly why she had been given all sorts of training and education. A topper from school, she had never really learnt the meaning of failure till now. A graduate of BITS- Pilani and an MBA holder from IIM-A, she has never had to look back and have much regrets in her life. The voice of her parents brimming with joy was all that she remembered of that day when she got her first fat-salaried job.

As she sat down on the chair opposite her boss, she was still in her own world.

Boss: Do you have any idea why I’ve called you?

She: Frankly sir, no.

Boss: I’ve been hearing a lot of good things about you and have been observing your performance from then on and I must say that I’m impressed. And so, when a matter of promotion was brought to my notice, I put forth your name. Congratulations on this promotion. Keep up this good work and it will only be a couple of years before you find yourself in this chair.

A pre-birthday gift that she will remember for years to come. She wanted to jump with joy and scream her happiness to the world but all that came out of her mouth was a mild “Thanks."

XYZ Hotel:

As if in a dream from another era, she woke up and thought about her own life as she waited in the corridor.

Wearing a faded blouse and a tattered old sari tucked up at her waist, hair held together with the help of lot of pins, balancing 4 glasses of water on one hand and four thalis on the other, she manoeuvred her way through the crowded restaurant.  From the other side she could hear the chatter of the young professionals who often visited this place for a quick dinner. Amidst all this, she finally reached her destination and served her customers with a warm smile. 

As she turned around, another table called out to her; their request was a birthday special. With a warm and innocent smile she wished the girl and proceeded with the order.  All she could think of was her birthday, just another normal day. No special orders, wishes, cakes or candles. Not even a hug or kiss from her parents for she did not know who they were. And yet, all that she could think of was the next day when she would be celebrating her birthday alone.

The clock on the coal-stained wall showed 8.30. She heard a familiar call from somewhere nearby and she turned to see the hotel’s owner gesturing her to a corner of the restaurant with a fake smile and a packet in his hand. Her heart gave a leap. A birthday present? But all of a sudden, emptiness was all that she could feel. She did not know what she wanted or was it because all that she wanted was much above her?

The three basic luxuries- food, shelter and clothing was allowed to her in meagre measures; a decent education and employment denied to her by the forces of the world; the love and care of parents and loved ones denied to her from birth. What did she want?

Owner: So how has been the work today?

She: Nothing out of the ordinary.

Owner: I’ve been impressed by your dedication and so have been a lot of others but none worthy of you.  But today, you have landed yourself a mighty shark. Consider this as a promotion in your profession. 

She wanted to say a lot of things, at least to protest, but her voice got stuck at her throat.

Owner: Here is a new sari for you. You know what is to be done.

He handed over the packet to her. Her mind fought desperately as she numbly received it. A pre-birthday gift that she will remember for years to come.

A bolt of lightning outside bought her back to the corridor. 

“Room 210”, she read and that was all she could read before her eyes welled up. She knocked on the door and entered.

If only her existence was a dream. 

To be born...

To be blessed with His precious gift- Life,
To dream of a light in the dark,
To have a haven so warm and safe,
To have the chance of leaving my mark.
Being the delicate one was not an easy task,
To live with perils all day long.
But in your love and care did I bask,
Taking in the world as it came along.

All the sights were but a blur
But through your eyes you showed me all.
My words were not even a slur
But you alone did hear my call.
Deaf to the outside world was I
But your voice was my lullaby.

With each passing day I grew more
Apprehension too coming to the fore...
Before the long wait could make me sore,
The day arrived for me to soar!

Ay me, I was born a GIRL.
I was too little to understand!

My cry was all that was heard
A fresh breath, all I could take,
Before my existence was stilled.
Life as I knew it, ended there!

Fate played the cruelest game ever.
I could have been my brothers' little sister
And my parents' loving daughter but here I lay,
Denied of all that Life could offer me.
To be burnt as a sacrifice and thrown away.
Was it for God or was it for society?

To my parents, bound and helpless as you were:
I pray that I live eternally through you.
To my brothers, for the silly quarrels we never had:
May you receive a sister's love through your daughters.
To God: as I accept my fate with sorrow:
I hope I am destined for a better future,
For I have always heard my mother say,
'All that happens, happens for a reason.'

I hope my life's purpose justifies this.
In spite of these comforting thoughts
The reason still eludes my comprehension.
I guess I was too little to understand!

(My first ever poem- Titled Destiny's Child)

The Curious Case of the Malnourished Chicken

It may sound weird coming from a vegetarian who eats only things 'green' or rather to quote my friends 'pullum vaikolum'. Coming to a semi-closure of exams and with the smell of holidays already in the air, all of us friends took an evening out to have a birthday treat. This treat was apparently for the 'trouble' we went into to organize a birthday celebration for one of our friends midway through the exams. It all started this weekend when we realized that the birthday was up in two days. Immediately we started chalking down plans and got ourselves ready for the big night! We had to wake our dear 'padipist' from sleep and had to make her cut the cake and invite her for her very own 'theppu' festival! And all that she could think of saying was, 'Thanks guys for the trouble you have been up to'. Telling this to a jobless Compsci, you are sure to get some witty remark and all I could think of in the middle of the night was, 'Ya. Huge trouble. We had to bring the cake all the way from Uganda!'(This is the abridged version and my friends know very well how far I can go with a chali and hence am not posting it here!) And thus came about a treat for the birthday and the auspicious day did come...
With other important matters to take care of, I ended up late for the treat and made my friends wait. It was when I reached there that I realized that the 'Soda lime salt' that had been ordered around half an hour back had not yet arrived. We kept on reminding them about this order and finally it came. This was the huge drink that MG had ordered and after taking a sip of it her expression said it all. Then all of us took a sip of it to understand what the issue was and it was the 'pinch' of salt they had put. The only plausible reasoning for it was that they must have put a 'pinch' of salt for every reminder we had given them. Finally all of us helped in finishing off the drink and had a supplementary drink after that to get our taste buds into action again. This was not the first time this was happening. The 'heartthrob' she had asked for (in another place) was also unavailable. The poor kid was subjected to a lot of 'theppu' that day for the same reason!
Next up was the Canteen (mainly because all the chicken items in the earlier place was over by the time we went). We went there to have an early dinner and had to wait for 5 minutes to get the non-vegetarians to decide what they were having. The ruckus, I must say, was for deciding whether they wanted a Chicken Fried Rice or Chicken Noodles. I mean, what difference is it going to make?! Chicken was anyway THE menu! Finally the decision was to go with both and the vegetarians went with dosa. So as we cleaned our plates with the last remnants of food, the non-vegetarians were still gorging on the chicken items.
We came back to the hostel and that is when one of my dear friends ( referred to as X from now) remembers about the chicken in the mess. All that I could do then was stare at her and wonder about her craze for chicken. Now to talk about X for a while. She is a true mallu at heart or rather stomach. She claims to eat anything and everything that will not bite her back (another mallu trait) which I find very silly because obviously you are not going to eat anything while its alive, or will you? With mallus you never know. The craze for non-veg food is so rampant that I sometimes wonder what I am doing in its midst. I keep on telling X that she is the biggest chicken lover I have ever met. But its just not chicken. The way my friends here wait for the mess to open just to get some non-veg food is unbelievable. While the vegetarians here start countdowns for holidays the non-vegetarians on the other hand have various countdowns in a week, one for chicken fry, one for chicken curry, one for fish curry, one for chicken fried rice and so on... And there are many more such items but am not mentioning them for fear of getting beaten up by any mallu for making him/her drool. All my friends wake up in the morning wondering what would be there for breakfast and on hearing 'dosa' all they have to say is 'Chicken dosa? :D'. Yes people, I get the point. Anything vegetarian can be converted to a non-veg. The first thing that any of them do on entering a restaurant is count the number of non-veg items in the menu and just like in any cartoon series I can see eyes popping out here and there. Any restaurant is rated on the quantity of non-veg food it offers more than the quality. Especially if the restaurant's name has anything to do with non-veg then extra points. Whenever all of us go out together, the vegetarians make do with whatever veg that is available and the non-vegs will still be deciding whether a shawarma or a bucket of chicken or anything else is better. Just tease them about this and immediately the retort comes, ' Its after all pullu and vaikol. Just choose whether you want it fresh or dry :P' After years of studying girl psychology my tip to any guy is get a girl a plate of great non-veg food and half the battle is won!
So as I was saying, X enters our Lionel 'MESS-I' and gets her share of chicken fry and comes out. Though I'm not great at judging such food, I could realize something immediately. I am aware that a chicken leg has a bone in it but at the same time that is not all it has! But the fry that came out of the mess was something like this:



I, myself, felt bad for X, though she did not have much of a reaction, which I assume is because she gets such chicken every other day. And yet the countdown for chicken fried rice that will be made available on Sundays continue! Mallus, true loyalty, it is...

(Dedicated to all my dear friends [:P])

Exams = Creativity

Exam time calls for creativity and that is exactly what has been happening around here. This time around there were a lot of creatures who were as jobless as me.
To start with...Creature Number 2 ( had a terrible Maths paper that I'm going to forgo all my love for the number game), my sweet big bro. At a safe distance greater than 20 kms away from me where only my voice reaches he found his so-called haven. With his internship supposed to be at full swing all he finds time for is to message and call me for all the affairs concerned with this world. For once, all those trivial things in my life caught his fascination or rather his imagination. All my naïve [;)] one-liners and messages were subjected to much speculation that I actually realized that the guy has not listened to even one interesting word I'd said in the last two years. Calls every now and then, confessing that the sole reason for the call was to bug me and leave me irritated for the next hour and a half, followed by messages was the usual routine. Essence of the blah I've written – Interns are jobless!
Creature Number 3 – My dad! Just like the pranks he has been pulling off from as long as I can remember he found the perfect timing this time around too. From pranks that had made me cry when I was 3 years old to now, that guy has not changed one bit and neither have I! I still fall head over heels for everything he says or does. This time around too the fall was pretty huge, if I can say that. Again at the end of this self-proclaimed belated April Fool's prank all that I have to say is, “ A few more days before you are paying heavily for this mister.”
Creature Number 4 – Or rather creatures. It has to be none other than my friends. Starting from the 5 days apparent study leave all of us have become experts at inventing ways of using time productively, as we refer to it. We started the 'study week' royally by going out for lunch to the closest available restaurant and came to the conclusion that we had to do this more often. All thanks to me, I must say! This time our usual antics gave way to new ones. The latest one that we came up was a poster! All of us were done making formal posters and so we just grabbed this golden chance to see each other on a poster. It must have been all the farewell hangovers. This graffiti up on my wall, which we now call the 'Ironing and Postering' wall, has been the interesting poster that we have ever come up with. With special art work from MG, it just showed us that second year wasn't as boring as it seemed to have been. All stories and nightmares have found a special place in this piece of paper so much so that our club juniors would have a terrific day out if they laid their hands on this. Though it just took an hour to do the work, it has been updated time and again with long-forgotten stories. With this up in my room, all of us take a minute or so every day to admire the work that has gone into it and just observe a moment of silence thinking of what all has been etched forever and what have been passing fancies. The DJ and the movie-dialogue sessions in the room has also come under ridicule. It just takes some random music to have me and Anju in splits. Maybe this is what is called exam hysteria or maybe just some not-so-random jokes. Another one of our favourite hobbies has to be posting rubbish on each other's Facebook wall and then deleting it as soon as the thread is over. If people find it weird, I don't disagree. When did I ever say that we all think normal?!
And for the grand finale... Creature Number 1 has to be I,Me, Myself! [:D] With just half my exams done and the other half still singing lullabies to me I have been finding time to do every other trivial thing or maybe not-so-trivial after all. Cleaning up the room for the umpteenth time, doing some laundry, chatting nonsense, packing to leave for home (which is sadly a week away still), an unsuccessful attempt at catching forty winks and now this... In the middle of the night with sleep evading me, surprisingly, I sit idly listening to some good music and watching the rain through my window... That sounds too romantic... Oh... Whatever! I guess its time to sleep after all.

A day to remember

Indeed, today was one day I would remember for a very long time to come. Before my friends just go too ahead and think that it was they who made the day special... hmmm... I must be honest here and say that the unforgettable moment occured at sometime between 1 and 1.30 in the afternoon. [:D]

9.00-10.30 a.m. - After a very long night spent on reading a novel and burning the laptop's charge (alright, it was just my weak attempt at a paradox for midnight oil [:P]) I went to sleep very late (by home standards) the previous night and hence woke up at 9! Just as I wake up I receive a message from MG ( as usual, our jokes and 'fun' and all the innocent souls who we planned to annihilate today. I must say that we wake up each day thinking as to who the unlucky martyr for the day would be!) and the reason for that particular message was to check whether her free message offer still existed, considering I am the one who takes note of all this for her [:D]. Unfortuantely not, and I knew that I would have a very dry day today without all our joint expert opinions and polls and what not. I woke up and as I was just getting out of the house, appa calls me and asks me to do some paper work which I promptly finish and leave for a chore that he asked me to do before I left. I come back to realize that he had come back from office and was waiting for me and his little paper work. Then just as appa was getting into his car I ask him for cash for the lunch today and I asked for 100 because I had loads with me anyway. And he gave me 200. LOL... And that is my appa. Then I take my scooty and started leaving right behind him just to see the driver uncle waiting for me and appa calls from inside and says, " Varsha, wear your helmet and drive carefully sweet heart. Or you can come now in the car and have it for the day." for which I go like, " Appa, it is ok (I did not want to trouble the poor driver uncle considering how weird my friends' plans could be) and the helmet is broken. I meant the front glass is and that was the only reason for me to wear the helmet. Get me a shades and I will wear the helmet then [:P]". Appa said, " Next time darling". [:)] .And then I drive all the way to kowdiar and realize that my sweet lil friends had taken a detour and asked me to come to zoo. On calling they said they were just on their way. So i drove half the way back and returned back to museum. After all there is no point in me staying put at the zoo till they come!

11.00-12.45 p.m. - Even after I did all the driving around town I ended up in museum before them and I had to wait for them though I constantly pestered them with my incessant messaging about making me wait! After all this fighting we entered the zoo and I was not spared or rather the monkeys were not. Poor creatures I must say. Let me just say, we are descendants or rather We are family or in my friends words (who all had serious claims to the title of Mojo Jojo) I was family! I guess my friends were not tired of the zillion photos they had taken of me with the monkeys the last time we went. Not only the monkeys, ranging from the King Cobra to the Painted Stork to the Hippo, no animals were spared. And at the end of the trip all that my friends could say was NIT had made me very logical (it was just a dig at all my jokes or should I say jokes on me?!) From the beginning of the tour till the end, all that VS could say was 'I'm sleepy' or 'I want to eat'. And since we had not yet decided where to have lunch from, we finally decided on Sindoor Palace, our home as usual. And with every passing 15 minutes each and everyone was getting hungry. I finally got fed up of all the grumbling about food and we called it a day at the zoo. Though I must say that I never really wanted to go to the zoo because I had already seen all the animals in front of the zoo as they were entering:my friends! [:D]

1.00-1.30 p.m. - As usual, everyone takes turn on my scooty and this time VS was lucky or rather unlucky to be sitting behind me. I drove from zoo to sindoor and I noticed a police jeep in front of the restaurant. As I was about to take the turn into the restaurant, the police asked me to park and to go along with him. And it was then that I realized that I was being caught for driving without a helmet. LOL. It was a first-time experience and all I wanted to do was burst out laughing. I was struggling to keep a straight face. The police inspector asked me for all the documents and God bless my mom for having kept all that properly in the scooty. And as my other friends came behind me, they got confused; they could see the police and thought it was something serious but on seeing my face they thought I was laughing over some joke! Well, I must say that this police inspector was one big MLA or in other words a despan. After checking all my documents all he had to say was, "First impressionil viduva. Fine onnum adakenda. :)" . I just turned around and did :P and all my friends just burst out laughing. Oh my God, it was very hilarious. Starting from the very first minute till he finished liteally studying the documents I was just hoping that he does not question me as to why I was laughing or rather take a dig at my feeble attempts to control it. And the funniest thing was, I then wore the helmet from the entrance of the restaurant to the parking lot inspite of him saying no need. It was just that I could not help playing a joke on him there and I guess he also did understand this because it was very evident. Anyway, because of all this my friends had a mighty good laugh. And thus today proves to be the first time I was caught driving without a helmet and hence will remain precious for a pretty long time!

1.30-2.30 p.m. - After all that walking in the zoo, sindoor had to feed 7 hungry girls who almost brought the whole place down talking and chattering.

2.30-4.00 p.m. - We spent the rest of the afternoon in the comfy settings of CCD. All of us just crashed into CCD and chatted and chatted and chatted. After everyone almost came up-to-date with everyone else's lives and after we had one of the best ice creams we have had for a very long time we dispersed the area before anyone could throw us out. [:D]

Then as usual I dropped one of my friends back home, the person keeps on changing every time though. And then after a very joyous and eventful day I entered home late in the evening much to the annoyance of my grandmom who wanted me to spend the day with her. But as I always say, 'There is nothing that a kiss cant heal' and thus a peck on her cheek was enough for her to forgive me though I had to promise to spend the next day with her much to the delight of both of us. As usual, I ended up chatting with MG (or Anju on other days) till late in the night.Thus as the night dawns and I yawn, I regret that the day has gone. (yes MG, I understand, it is a very poor two-liner [:P] )

Courtesy for the day- All the places that would have kicked us out if we had not emptied the area in the next 5 minutes, Moni, Pri, Deepz, Achu, Jani, VS, MG (and all the innocent souls who were subjected to our comments today[;)]),Anju and most importantly the anonymous Mr.Police. [:D]

Study Time

Study time in room 209 was always one to remember. I was presumed to be the acting teacher and then there were my roomies who sat through my hilariously confusing conceptual lectures. Be it mechanics, physics or maths (though in s2 I had one of the most awesome teachers of all times who was confused herself) I slithered my way through all that.

These sessions were informative like in physics I sat thinking about the various annels of quantum mechanics and finally ended up saying, "Hell, why are we even bothered about the dates. One person ends up finding something and another person comes along half a century later to disprove it and we as engineers are bothered about that. Why cant we just learn the right thing?! And beware you all, if you all grow up and find something that my nieces and nephews have to worry about, I'll come over and kill you all!!!".

Mechanics, on the other hand, was fun. Let me just say that it was a subject i loved. And I still remember that fateful day before s2 endsem when all of us were huddled together trying to get a grasp of every little concept. By afternoon, when I was mentally tired, of having to use my brains once in a while like this, my caring and loving roomies forbade me from 'taking a nap'. Well, had I been in their spot I would have done the same thing considering the fact that waking me up for studies can be more difficult than studying itself! While my roomies happily took turns taking naps I sat there pleading to the rest of them for a 5 minute siesta, but to no avail.

There were countless other subjects. Oh I almost forgot electrical. It was funny how in s1 I had electronics and I ended up teaching my roomies all the network theorems in s1 without learning it myself and initially my friends were gulping at how I knew all that and all I had to tell them was 12th standard physics or more specifically AO sir.

Anyway after s2 when all of us entered our different branches we also put an end to our small but fun-filled study group. And just as I thought that those days wont come back ever again I had a very surprising end sem. Maths still remained to be a common subject and me and anju ended up doing combined studies for that. Statistics and distribution were the topics and I still remember how we studied all that formulae. There was regression with me almost getting aggressive with that topic and finally how aggressively we had to regreesively fit those curves! All those Latin dance forms seemed better than Latin squares. Once we think we are done with two proportions we come across several proportions and in the end i felt like tearing up the notes into several proportions. And now even thinking about all that I am in splits.

Even during this time we had all the fun possible. This end sem was no different. There have been times when we used to play antakshari 2 hours before the exam or comment on jokes from malayalam movies, the most recent ones involved Punjabi House and Akkare Akkare. And our solution to excessive-studies-boredom was a dj session which ended up in robl (rolling on bed laughing)!

Now my combined studies involve MG and those sessions last barely 5 minutes before I end up sleeping. MG then packs everything and returns to her room fearing induction of this epidemic of sleeping! I can't blame her seeing how me and anju end up sleeping most of the time. Though we try taking turns sleeping and waking each other up all these efforts turn futile in the end.

Whatever it is, all that I can say is this combined-study or not-so-combined-study sessions are the only times I enjoy during exam and also my incentive after the exam- sleep...