My dream wedding

You were there holding my hands for the one last time, the only guy I have known in my life, handing your little princess over to her Prince Charming. Happiness and sadness, your eyes showed me. I looked over at my man at the other end of the aisle and there he was standing with all the confidence in the world. Apprehensive as I was, I squeezed your hand. Here I was, walking towards a new world. I was unsure of what it held for me. But I always knew that when I turn around, you would always be there supporting me. I gave you one last look and you let go of my hand…

… And I started walking. The happiness on your face was unfathomable. Here was your little girl who was still on her fours a couple of months ago but now had learnt to take her tiny steps in this world. Still fumbling and falling but surely making her way. You had already started dreaming. Though I was a little under one year, you were already thinking about how I would grow up to be a strong independent girl.

A strong independent girl did I grow up to be, and what an inspiration I had in front of me. Travelling to places where my passion took me, doing performances and giving recitals all over the country. It was your confidence that gave me the courage to opt for the less-acclaimed Arts course and with you advising and supporting me at every corner; it was as if a big burden was off my shoulders when I topped the university with my Masters in Music.

I always knew the trouble I was causing you, destroying your weekends with chores of dropping me and picking me up from music and dance classes. But then again, I was too little to venture out alone. And those practices during weekdays! There were times when I almost dropped off these classes but it was that pride in your face every time you saw me perform that kept me going. It was as if I was living your dream…

… Your dream of always providing the very best for me, your little princess. These past few days were a manifestation of nothing but that. Your dedication in putting together my dream wedding!  From booking the best venue to organizing every tiny detail, I could just not wait for the day to arrive. And when it did…

… I saw my mother sitting there with tears in her eyes as I walked down the aisle. I knew what was going through her mind and through the minds of people here. I could see and feel the sympathy around me. But I told myself, even if no one could see; you are always there, holding my hands for all of eternity.

But why? Why did you let go of me ten days earlier? I thought we had a pact- a pact to live, to cherish and to bask in each one’s happiness. Though you did not keep up your side of the promise, here I was, living the dream you had put together for me, because I know this is what you would have wanted me to do.

… And as I walk down this aisle with tears flowing down my cheeks, I just look up and say ‘I love you Daddy and I miss you!’

(My prayers are always there with you.)